Dr.Sorayya Hematipour

The Relationship between Parenting Styles and Children's Self-Esteem, Self-Efficacy and Psychological Independence

Publication date : 1405/8/4


Parenting styles are one of the most important environmental factors affecting children's psychological development and can play a role in the formation of self-esteem, self-efficacy, psychological independence, emotion regulation, and the quality of social relationships. The family is the first environment in which the child experiences self-worth, builds beliefs about his abilities, and learns how to face difficulties and make decisions. Parents' daily interactions with children, how to respond to emotional needs, how to set rules, the degree of support for age-appropriate decisions, and the way to deal with mistakes, gradually affect the child's mental image of himself and his surroundings. Parenting style refers to a relatively stable pattern of attitudes and behaviors that parents use in the process of caring, teaching, guiding, and raising their children. This concept includes not only the method of punishment or encouragement, but also the quality of the emotional relationship, the level of acceptance, the level of control, the way of communication, the expectations of parents, and the opportunities they provide for the development of the child's independence. In the classic studies of Diana Baumrind, parenting styles were investigated according to dimensions such as control, developmental expectations, and emotional responsiveness, and subsequent research considered authoritarian, authoritarian, permissive, and negligent patterns in explaining parenting differences. Each of these patterns may affect the development of a child's psychological characteristics through different mechanisms, but the intensity and direction of this effect also depends on family circumstances, individual characteristics, stage of development, and cultural context. Self-esteem refers to a person's overall assessment of their self-worth and determines how well a child deems himself worthy of respect, acceptance, and positive relationships. This concept is related to, but not with, self-esteem and self-efficacy. Self-esteem usually refers to a feeling of confidence in a variety of situations, while self-efficacy is related to a person's belief in their ability to complete a task or manage a given situation. Psychological independence also refers to a child's gradual ability to shape preferences, express opinions, make age-appropriate decisions, accept responsibility, and act on personal perceptions and choices. Psychological independence does not mean cutting off emotional attachment to parents or ignoring rules, but rather indicates the development of autonomy within the framework of a secure and supportive relationship. These three constructs interact with each other; children who feel more valued may be more willing to try new activities, and children who have experience of success and the opportunity to make choices may form a more positive belief in their abilities. However, none of these relationships means that high self-esteem alone guarantees success, or that greater independence is always associated with higher self-efficacy. One important parenting pattern is the authoritative style, which is characterized by a combination of emotional warmth, responsiveness, rational supervision, and clear boundaries. Authoritative parents pay attention to the child's emotional needs, but at the same time maintain age-appropriate expectations and teach responsibility. In this style, rules are usually accompanied by explanation and dialogue, and the child has the opportunity to talk about their feelings, concerns, and perspectives. Such an environment can help develop self-esteem, as the child experiences that his or her worthiness does not depend on complete obedience, obtaining a high score, or perfectly meeting parental expectations. Emotional acceptance and respect for individual differences helps a child see themselves as someone with specific needs, abilities, and rights. In such an environment, the mistake will be an opportunity to learn and modify behavior rather than being seen as a sign of worthlessness. This perception can prevent the formation of negative self-evaluation and an extreme fear of failure. An authoritative style can also foster self-efficacy by creating appropriate opportunities for choice and decision-making. When a child is allowed to choose part of their daily homework, recreational activities, or age-appropriate responsibilities, they have the opportunity to observe the consequences of their decisions and learn from their successful and unsuccessful experiences. Parents play a guiding role in this process and provide support when needed, but they do not take all steps for the child. This balance between support and responsibility can increase a sense of competence and provide the basis for the formation of psychological independence. In contrast, an authoritarian style is typically characterized by tight control, an emphasis on obedience, a restriction on mutual dialogue, and a greater use of harsh commands or punishments. In some families, parents severely limit the opportunity for choice with the aim of protecting the child or ensuring their success, expecting adult decisions to be accepted without question. If this pattern is accompanied by humiliation, threats, constant comparison, or disregard for the child's feelings, it may increase the context for the formation of negative self-esteem and excessive dependence on external approval. A child who receives their self-worth primarily from obedience or the expected success of parents may experience a strong sense of inadequacy when they make mistakes, score low, or face criticism. Such experiences can increase the fear of failure and lead the child to avoid activities where there is a possibility of error. Excessive control may also reduce the opportunity to practice problem-solving, evaluate consequences, and make independent decisions. In some cases, the child focuses more on hiding mistakes or gaining parental satisfaction rather than investigating the reasons for a behavior to avoid punishment or blame. However, a distinction must be made between psychological control and rational supervision. Age-appropriate supervision, setting safe boundaries, and pursuing responsibilities can be essential to a child's development; what is more concerning is the use of emotional pressure, embarrassment, threats of affection, or excessive restriction of the right to express one' s opinion. Permissive parenting is characterized by relatively high emotional acceptance and fewer restrictions or supervision. Permissive parents may quickly give in to the child's demands or refuse to set clear rules to avoid upsetting the child. This practice can increase feelings of acceptance and freedom in some situations, but if it is accompanied by a lack of guidance, inconsistency in expectations, and a lack of opportunity for responsibility training, it may make it difficult to develop self-regulation and constructive autonomy. Psychological autonomy does not simply mean freedom of choice, but rather the ability to weigh options, consider consequences, and accept responsibility for decisions. A child who receives a positive response to each of their demands may have less opportunity to learn to tolerate failure, postpone demands, and conform to social norms. In such a situation, their self-efficacy may appear high in simple situations, but they may face more difficulties when faced with difficult assignments or external constraints. Of course, the consequences of a permissive style are not the same in all children, and the level of emotional warmth, relationship quality, child characteristics, and cultural context can play a role in the results. A neglectful or underinvolved style is also usually associated with a lower level of emotional responsiveness and supervision. In this situation, the child's emotional and developmental needs may not be adequately addressed, and the opportunity for regular dialogue, guidance, and support is reduced. A lack of positive interaction can create feelings of being ignored or unimportant in some children, increasing the scope for vulnerability of self-esteem. In order to form positive beliefs about themselves, a child needs experiences in which their efforts, feelings, and needs are seen and they receive an appropriate response. When these experiences are consistently limited, the child may have difficulty recognizing their abilities, seeking help, and realistically evaluating their performance. Reduced supervision and guidance may also limit the opportunity to learn age-appropriate problem-solving and decision-making skills. However, it should be noted that the lack of parental presence is not always due to deliberate neglect, and factors such as economic pressure, long working hours, illness, or lack of social support may play a role in their availability. Therefore, it is important to examine the family's circumstances and provide practical support alongside parenting. One of the most important theoretical frameworks for explaining the relationship between parenting style and self-efficacy is Albert Bandura's social cognitive theory. According to this view, self-efficacy beliefs are formed through experiencing success, observing behavioral patterns, receiving social feedback, and interpreting emotional states. Parents can help develop this belief by providing them with the opportunity to do real homework, encouraging effective effort, and providing specific feedback. For example, when a child is trying to solve a problem and parents provide step-by-step guidance instead of doing it for him immediately, the child has the opportunity to experience his or her potential. Experiencing success in activities that are appropriate to the level of growth can increase their belief in the possibility of progress. In contrast, over-helping, constantly solving problems in the child's place, or conveying the message that he or she cannot do things on his or her own may reduce the opportunity to experience personal mastery. General, derogatory criticism can also divert a child's attention from performance improvement strategies to concern about their self-worth. Effective feedback is better to point to specific behavior and strategy, for example, emphasizing planning, purposeful effort, or using a new method provides more practical information for learning than labels such as being smart or incapacitated. Such an approach helps the child see abilities as developmental and to modify his strategies in the face of failure rather than withdrawing. Self-esteem also develops through the experience of emotional acceptance, a sense of belonging, and receiving realistic feedback. A child can form a more balanced self-evaluation when he or she does not experience parental affection solely on success, obedience, or superiority over others. Conditional affection may lead a child to believe that in order to be loved, he must always be perfect, or that he or she should prioritize the expectations of others over his own. Such a belief can lead to sensitivity to criticism, maladaptive perfectionism, and concern about social evaluation. In contrast, unconditional acceptance of a child's human worth does not mean that he or she approves of all behaviors, but rather that parents can correct inappropriate behavior, without questioning the child's character and worthiness. This distinction helps the child accept responsibility for their mistakes, without taking each mistake as a sign of personal worthlessness. Psychological autonomy is also important from the perspective of self-determination theory. This theory emphasizes basic psychological needs, including autonomy, competence, and connection to others. Autonomy refers to the experience of willpower and participation in choices, competence is related to a sense of ability to face assignments, and emotional connection is related to a sense of belonging and bonding with important people. Supportive parenting can address all three needs: while maintaining an emotional relationship, parents allow the child to make age-appropriate choices, explain the reasons for the rules, and provide the opportunity to experience new skills. This approach is compatible with the independence that develops in the context of secure communication and does not create the necessary conflict between autonomy and the need for support. The child can be emotionally dependent on the parent while taking responsibility for some of his or her personal decisions. In this framework, autonomy is healthier when a child's choices are not constrained by coercion and excessive control, nor are they left without guidance or boundaries. The way parents communicate is also important in the development of these qualities. Two-way dialogue, active listening, explaining the reasons for decisions, and accepting questions teach the child that his or her personal point of view is worth hearing. When a child is able to express his or her dissent without fear of humiliation, he or she will have more time to practice reasoning, recognize preferences, and negotiate rules. These skills are also applicable in social relationships and can help a child express their personal boundaries in a respectful manner, make a more informed decision in the face of peer pressure, and use dialogue when disagreeing. In contrast, families who consistently see disagreement as a sign of disrespect may limit the opportunity to practice self-expression. Some children tend to be overly obedient in such situations, while others exhibit confrontational behaviors in response to intense control. Thus, the parenting style influences not only the child's overt behavior, but also the way in which the values and reasons for the rules are internalized. When a child understands the reason for a rule and is involved in the formation of certain decisions, he or she is more likely to accept appropriate behavior as a personal responsibility, rather than simply a reaction to avoid punishment. A child's individual characteristics are also important in the relationship between parenting and psychological development. Differences in mood, emotional sensitivity, language ability, executive functions, and social experiences can cause children to react differently to a parenting behavior. For example, a child who experiences more anxiety in new situations may need gradual support and more opportunity to practice independence, while another child may respond to shorter guidance and a wider choice space in the same situation. Therefore, implementing the same parenting method for all children, regardless of their developmental characteristics, may not be effective. Proportionality between a child's level of support and needs is important, and parents should gradually change their guidance as abilities develop. Independence that begins at an early age with limited, manageable choices can extend to responsibility for homework, time management, and participation in family decisions at school age. As we age, the opportunity to talk about values, friendships, educational programs, and personal goals becomes even more important. Throughout all of these stages, emotional support should be provided in such a way that the child feels they can ask for help from their parents when faced with a problem, without their decision-making ability being overlooked. The relationship between parenting styles and a child's mental health can also be explained through self-esteem, self-efficacy, and psychological independence. Children who value themselves and believe they have the ability to learn and solve problems may be more resilient to academic and social pressures. A sense of autonomy can also increase participation in activities and acceptance of responsibility. In contrast, vulnerable self-esteem, low self-efficacy, and limited opportunity for choice may be associated with avoidance of challenges, over-reliance on the approval of others, or difficulty in making decisions. However, these relationships are mutually reciprocal and dynamic; a child's behavioral or emotional problems may also affect parenting, causing increased control, worry, or conflict in parenting styles. For this reason, parents should not be held entirely responsible for a child's psychological development or a simple, one-way relationship between parenting style and developmental outcomes. In a research review of this issue, it is necessary to measure parenting styles, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and psychological independence with valid and age-appropriate tools. The use of parental reporting alone may provide an incomplete picture; combining the perspectives of the child, parents, and teachers along with observation of behavior can increase the validity of the assessment. A distinction should also be made between autonomy, practical autonomy, and emotional distancing, because a child who performs personal tasks on his or her own does not necessarily have more psychological independence, and an emotionally dependent child is not necessarily incapable of making decisions. Limitations of studies in this area include the use of cross-sectional designs, the difficulty of proving a causal relationship, differences in measurement tools, the effect of respondents' bias, and cultural differences. Findings about a society cannot be generalized to all children without regard to cultural values, family structure, and developmental expectations. In addition, classifying parenting styles may simplify the complexity of parenting's actual behavior, as a parent can exhibit different behaviors in different contexts, and their interaction style may also change over time. One of the practical challenges is to distinguish between healthy authority and traumatic control, between extreme support and support, and between constructive autonomy and parental abandonment. For example, setting bedtime or restricting the use of digital devices when appropriate for age and accompanied by explanation and dialogue does not necessarily undermine a child's autonomy. In contrast, humiliating a child for disagreement or using emotional threat to force him or her to obey can damage trust and a sense of worth. It is suggested that parent education focus on striking a balance between emotional acceptance, clear demarcation, choice support, and responsibility training. Parents can provide the ground for the development of self-efficacy and self-esteem by entrusting age-appropriate tasks, encouraging effort, accepting correctable mistakes, and avoiding derogatory comparisons. Also, it is better to gradually increase the opportunity for choice and for the child to experience the natural and safe consequences of his decisions. Instead of doing things completely instead of the child, step-by-step guidance can be used to help him find new strategies if problems arise. Parents should take the child's feelings seriously, but at the same time have clear and predictable behavioral limits. In the educational environment, fostering opportunities for participation, providing specific feedback, respecting individual differences, and providing opportunities for gradual success can foster beliefs of self-efficacy and a sense of competence. Collaboration between family and school is important to avoid conflicting parenting messages, but this collaboration should not mean a complete homogenization of expectations, but rather aims to create harmony in supporting a child's development, responsibility, and mental health. Future researches can investigate the mediating role of self-esteem and self-efficacy in the relationship between parenting styles and psychological independence by using longitudinal designs and determine in which periods of development these constructs play a more prominent role. Also, investigating gender differences, economic conditions, family structure, parents' communication style, and the impact of digital media can help to understand these relationships more accurately. It is also essential to evaluate parenting programs in real-world family and school settings to clarify which interventions are most effective in increasing emotional acceptance, boosting self-efficacy, and developing independence. Paying attention to the needs of parents and reducing economic and social pressures should also be part of support programs, because educational recommendations become more practical when families have the necessary resources and opportunities to implement them. Self-esteem, self-efficacy, and psychological independence are three important components in children's personality development and adaptation, which are formed in the interaction between individual characteristics, family experiences, and the social environment. Authoritative parenting style, if implemented in accordance with the child's characteristics and family circumstances, can provide a suitable ground for the development of these components, because it accompanies emotional acceptance with rational guidance, the opportunity for choice, and teaching responsibility. In contrast, extreme psychological control, humiliation, constant neglect, or lack of guidance may make some paths to healthy development difficult, although the consequences of these practices are not the same for all children. The main importance of effective parenting is that the child not only feels loved and valued, but also has the opportunity to experience his or her abilities, learn from mistakes, think about his decisions, and gradually take more responsibility. Providing such an environment can help develop a balanced self-image, a realistic belief in one's abilities and independence, along with a sense of belonging and security, and provide the child with a better fit in family, school, and social relationships.